Monday 27 February 2017

The Púca








"The Púca is vegetation spirit, or an elf, or something of that sort, who mostly lives in County Kerry, although he has been known to move around Ireland and appear in other places.

He generally hangs around pubs - Irish pubs close at 11:30, you can't get a drink after 11:30 unless you know the publican very well, and they know the cop on the beat is going to come in at quarter to twelve and have his midnight drink too, [and] won't bust anybody. But according to the law, they close at 11:30 and people start home.

Now, Irish roads are like English roads, they weave, and turn, they're not straight like American Roads.
Some people say that's because the roads were made by the drunks staggering home from the pub at night. Actually the Irish word for "road" is "bohar", which means "cow path" - so the cows created the roads, and the drunks followed the cows, I guess.

So anyway, if you are coming out of an Irish pub at 11:30 and you're on your way home, the Púca may suddenly decide to descend upon you.

Generally, he grabs you by the collar and yells "Got yer erse, mate!", and drags you off into a parallel universe, just like you hear about in modern physics, or a set of parallel universes, and you meet all of the great Irish heroes, Finn McCoel, Cahaugllen, Isle of the Nine Hostages, Patrick Columbus, Brian Confucious... Luke Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi... Zeus, Apollo, the Devas, the Pans, the Satyrs... Billions, and billions of years of adventures in alternative realities.

And when the Púca gets done playing with you, he puts you back on the road.

And it's only one minute after you left the pub, in ordinary time."







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